


Bacon

by tatooedlaura



Series: Life, Part 2 [4]
Category: The X-Files
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-12
Updated: 2017-06-12
Packaged: 2018-11-13 06:34:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11179080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tatooedlaura/pseuds/tatooedlaura
Summary: Bacon and waffles ... just ... just bacon and waffles ... and super fast out of control showers ...





	Bacon

He woke to some sort of liquid running down his arm. Opening first left, then right eye, he saw flop of red hair dangerously close to his nose, threatening an epic sneeze into peaceful Sunday morning. Blowing ever so gently, he moved the most sinister of hairs, then caught sight of Scully’s open mouth against his arm, the telltale glisten of drool hovering at the corners. Now, she’d drooled on him plenty, in cars, on planes, in lobbies, waiting rooms, vinyl chairs and cloth covered couches but never and he repeated the word ‘never’ in his head a second then third time, NEVER while she was completely and totally, utterly and beguilingly bare ass naked under plaid sheets in his bedroom.

NEVER.

That was more than enough to fuel his partial erection but he also realized that regardless of how naked she was beside him, he still had to pee.

Extraction from Scully proved more difficult than he imagined, however, his trapped arm holding not only her head upright but his hand was also wedged neatly under her belly, finger resting in what he assumed was most likely her belly button but possibly also her bullet wound scar. Damn him and his fingers being only four inches above the starting line to early morning fun and his full bladder forcing its way front and center.

“Scully?”

Nothing.

“Scully?” Moving his neck enough to bump into her forehead, “hey, woman, wake up or I’m gonna pee all over this bed.”

With a low growl and a grunt that made him grin, she dragged her face off him, dropping straight to the mattress, nose bent and eye smushed into soft cotton.

Taking what he could get, he slid from the bed, skirted the footboard and made a beeline for the bathroom, feeling as if he had mere seconds to spare before full-on bladder explosion. Finally emerging a few minutes later, he met Scully’s blinking gaze, her hair a mess and sheets haphazardly pulled to barely her waist, “you got Guinness in there with you? Going for a record?”

“Yup. Missed it by .25 seconds and a shaking drop.”

“You looked kind of hot right there, with that cast and bright white butt shining in the morning sun but I gotta say, once you start talking about pee and a shaking drop, I just … you are damn near irresistible.”

“Such big words for such a tiny, drooling creature.”

Patting sheets, she nodded at him, “have you seen any of my clothes? I’m hungry and can’t go buy breakfast without them.”

Clomping back to her, “what? You don’t want to spend the day in bed with me, unclothed, while I eat ham and eggs from your belly?”

The look she shot him was priceless but he could see the twinkle in her semi-awake eyes, “you’d have had me with bacon and waffles.”

Pointing at her, motioning his finger in circles to indicate a small area, namely the bed, “you give me a half-hour and I will have waffles and bacon here and we will not leave this apartment until absolutely, God damned necessary.”

Scully ran a hand through her tangles, “in the meantime, am I allowed to shower?”

“Do whatever, just make sure you are back in that bed in 20 minutes. I’ll slip Jimmy a $50 and see if he can’t cook my order faster.”

He already had on his boxers and was struggling with a pair of shorts, eagerness overwhelming balance, “think you’ll make it there, Sparky, without breaking the other leg?”

Shorts successfully hanging on hips, he pulled a tshirt on, inside out and jammed his one bare foot in his sneaker, “20 minutes.”

&&&&&&&&&&

Jimmy refused the money, giving him his food quickly and efficiently, Mulder’s face clearly broadcasting that he had a woman in his apartment who needed food and she was naked so move your ass with her breakfast.

Once back in the apartment, he carried the food to the bedroom, expecting to find it empty with Scully still in the shower but instead, found her fast asleep, curled on her side of the bed – holy hell, she had a side of the bed. Wet hair spread across a towel on top of the pillow, he simply shook his head. Today was a Scully, super-fast out of control, five-minute shower kind of day. She could do that kind of thing … wake up, get in the shower, wash clean, get out, get dressed, get going, before he had a chance to do more than yawn and scratched parts. Her five-minute showers were usually sans leg shaving but as she put it once, her skirted legs wrapped tightly around the neck of a suspect on someone’s front lawn at 2:30 in the afternoon, who really gave a shit about a little bit of stubble when you could give a potential serial killer Indian rub burn with your calves.

That was one of the first times he seriously debated just banging her for all he was worth in the backseat of their rental in the shade of a rest stop down the aimless highway.

And speaking of such rituals, he didn’t have a rental, a rest stop or a highway but he had bacon and waffles per request and they were not going to waste if he had anything to do with it.

&&&&&&&&&&&&

“Mulder, I really, really need to get back to my apartment. I have a suitcase full of dirty clothes and a mother to call to let know I’m home and alive and she can stop watering my plant.”

“You can’t call her from here?”

The look she gave him could have been bottled and sold as ‘what the fuck is wrong with you?’ spray, “I cannot call my mother the day I ditch churchgoing to have bacon and waffle sex from said associated sinner’s home … she’ll know and just …” knowing she sounded stupid as hell and grinning slowly because Mulder was mirroring her look, Scully gave up, “oh my God, I’m twelve again and lifting a dollar from my mom’s purse for ice cream.”

Mulder leaned over, grabbing his phone from the nightstand and never taking his eyes off her, dialed Maggie, his wicked smile keeping her still, a perverse wonder at just what he was going to tell her, “Maggie? … It’s Fox … yeah, she’s home and wanted to let you know that you don’t have to water anything today … um, last night actually … yeah, I invited her to have breakfast this morning then she fell asleep so … I’ll have her call you later … thanks … um, yeah, we’ll be there … okay … bye.” Hanging up, “so now we just do laundry here and you can take your pants back off.”

“Why do I keep you again?”

“Because you red M&M me to Jupiter and back?”

Pulling him up by the hand, she kissed him before scooting his shoes towards his feet, “I think it was to infinity and beyond.”

The prospect of Scully and infinity pulsed unbelievably through his veins, “is this your subtle way of inviting me back to your place so I can watch you wash your unmentionables?”

“Pretty much.”

Tightening his grip on her hand, he locked his door behind him, “you know I’m going to mention them, right? And by mention, I mean, ogle and possibly practice unhooking your bras so I’ll be proficient at it next time, meaning tonight, when I go to do it while sitting next to you on the couch.”

She made out with him for two floors of bliss against the side of the elevator and left him leaning on the wall while she slipped out the doors into the lobby.

He rode the elevator to the third floor and back down with his neighbor Mr. Chavez because his brain didn’t have enough blood to follow her off in the first place.

Scully approved, walking just a little closer to him as he guided her to her car.


End file.
